Operation TC
by Alyssa-Anime-Angel
Summary: ONE SHOT! Rated R for Language. Hiei is confused by the concept of Kristmas? He ends up being enlisted to terminate this vile happy giving sharing event. This was a present for one of my friends Christmas 2003.


Operation TC

By AlyssaAnimeAngel

_This is dedicated to a great friend, one soul-named_

_Youko who has been there for me. Thank you_

_for your friendship._

Alyssa: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, wished I owned Kurama, but I DON'T, so no need to sue.

Hiei paced his bedroom in his little wooden lodge wondering what the hell that little punk Yusuke was mumbling about. Kristmas? What the fuck was that?

Hiei growled but controlled his anger, he had only just finished rebuilding the bathroom on his hut the last time he had burnt it down in a fit of rage.

He stopped his pacing, finally deciding that he would just ask Kurama. That fox was sure to know about these pathetic human rituals. He pulled on his shoes and walked out of his room into the lounge where he received a shocking surprise. A glittering tree had grown in the middle of the room.

"What the fuck!" Hiei hissed, his mouth still open after he finished the sentence.

There were bells, and balls and little white demonic creatures with wings on it.

"Hello Hiei," came a very deep mysterious voice from the tree.

Hiei shivered, "Ahh, the tree is talking. Kurama if this is some sort of joke, I am going to hurt you. And if this is real I am going to kill you!"

"No this is no joke," came the same melodious voice.

Hiei was seriously wigged out, but he couldn't find his legs. He couldn't feel anything actually, he just had a bad feeling that something horrible had happened and that something even worse was about to happen.

Suddenly a girl jumped out from behind the tree and said, "I am going to enjoy this."

Hiei took a deep breath when he realized it was a human girl.

"Wait a minute, you're not human."

The girl didn't smile at all as she transformed into a demon fox. She looked much like Kurama does when he transforms but instead she had long thick black hair and her eyes glittered red.

Hiei got into a pose in preparation for a fight.

This time a smile lifted her lips as she whispered, "Oh we might do some wrestling later, but not the wrestling you're thinking of."

"Eh?" Hiei questioned but after dismissing what she said as nonsense he demanded, "Who are you?"

She glared, "I am Youko, you may call me master, however if you are into the dominating thing then you can call me slave…later."

Hiei was oblivious to the innuendo but was furious at the mention of him being subservient to her. He growled at her but all she did was roll her eyes.

"You're so hostile."

He bared his teeth and demanded, "What do you want?"

Youko's eyes lit up as she replied, "I want to kill Santa."

"Oh, why and who is this Santa fellow, sounds like a demonic name. Can I help?"

"Santa is a big fat jolly, shudders fellow who gives presents to all those who are good and believe in him and coal to all the others. As to why I want to kill him, well, every year I make it on to the Naughty List, so I should get a lump of coal. But because I would actually like a lump of coal, he sends me a…a….B-Barbie doll."

Hiei did know what this was and exclaimed, "He didn't!"

Youko nodded and was about to say something when Hiei muttered, "So that is why I always get a lump of coal around this time of the year."

Youko cleared her throat and said, "So you in?"

"Sure, why not. I have nothing better to do, and while we are at it, can we get rid of those horrible little demonic bird people on the tree, actually while we are at it, lets get rid of the tree."

Hiei grinned and pulled out his sword. He jumped at it and all Youko saw was a blur. Finally he landed and the tree exploded into confetti.

"Great, lets get to work," said Youko, "but we need a name. How about, Operation Kill Santa."

Hiei fell over.

Getting to his feet he said, "Yeah, that'd leave no confusion."

"Fine then, lets call it Operation TC"

"TC?"

A black aura glowed around Youko and her eyes shined yellow as she hissed, "Terminate Christmas."

"Okaaaaay, so anyway, where does this Santa fellow live?"

"The North Pole."

"ON EARTH?"

"What's wrong, you're a fire demon."

"I still don't like the cold…its gives me the sniffles."

Youko sighed then said, "Okay, hang on a sec, I will just call my friend. She's smart."

Youko pulled a mobile phone out from her pocket and pressed a button on speed dial.

Hi Alyssa, It's Youko 

…

Yeah so I was wondering if you knew the location of Santa Claus 

…

Oh that's just great, Thanks Lys, talk ta ya soon 

…

The demon fox closed her phone and put it away.

Hiei asked, "Where is this Lys of yours?"

"Oh, Australia on Earth."

"Wow, that's really great coverage. What's your plan?"

"Oh, thirty a month with ten dollars of free calls, anyway, she said that he would be arriving at Yusuke's house within ten minutes. So we had better book it."

"Eh?"

Youko cleared the matter up for him, "Lets go."

Yusuke was sleeping quietly in his bed waiting for the next day when he would get to open his presents when he heard a whoosh and bells on the roof. '_SANTA'S HERE'_ Yusuke got all excited and sat up in bed. He was about to sneak out to peek in on Santa when he heard a muffle and a groan. He ran out of bed to find a strange black headed fox girl with Yusuke stuffing Santa into a bag.

Everyone froze but the freeze frame was broken by Yusuke whining, "Where's my presents?"

Hiei pointed to the tree and the two demons watched as the spirit detective went to the tree and ripped open his presents.

The two could barely contain their laughter when the presents revealed were 'Be your own beautician', a way to make your own beauty salon, with complementary hair gels and brush. He also unwrapped deodorant and Clearasil. The two burst out laughing, which woke up Yusuke's mother, so they finished stuffing Santa in the bag, and zoomed up the chimney.

The two plopped into the sleigh, which caused all the reindeer to stare at them strangely.

Hiei growled, "Get a move on, cause I'm getting hungry and I don't really like fast food all that much…but if I have to."

The reindeer went into overkill and rushed to the next house on the list. It just so happened to be Kurama's.

They were about to go and deliver his presents when Youko remembered why they were on this mission. She was about to say that she wanted to dump the sleigh so that Christmas would be ruined when a book fell onto her lap. She opened it up and skimmed through it until something caught her eye. It was a spell to make all the people of the world get the opposite to what they deserved. She grinned, '_Christmas would be ruined!'_

Before Youko could start the spell the sleigh was surrounded by a bunch of hovering short people, I mean elves. They said in unison, "On behalf of Christmas and all the children of the world, we shall punish evil and that means you."

Youko got shivers up her spine, "Sailormoon wannabes."

Hiei just stared at them and said, "Get lost."

Youko smiled and said, "Here take some of my demon plants."

She threw a seed at each of the small men at the same time Hiei unleashed his fiery attack. The elves didn't know what hit them and they all started to plummet to the Earth.

Youko cringed as she felt them hit the ground, "Oh, that's gotta sting."

"That is the same attack as Kurama's," Hiei said accusingly.

"Yeah, I kinda stole some of his plants…anyway lets continue with that spell."

Closing her eyes she recited, "Bad makes good and good makes bad, give right to wrong and wrong to right, to ruin Christmas on this night."

An evil air surrounded them and suddenly the bag of gifts disappeared.

Turning to Hiei who was as confused as ever, Youko said, "Lets take a flight over Koenma's castle and drop coal on it."

Hiei grinned and steered the deer in through a dark hole to the demon world.

The two spent the rest of the night terrorizing the demon world until sun up, when they then dumped the reindeer and Santa in the bag at the North Pole. Or maybe it was the South Pole? Somewhere cold. They then returned to Hiei's hut. The pair of Christmas crackers fell asleep as soon as they got there; it had been a very late night. But they had thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

Operation TC was accomplished as all over the world good children were waking up to lump of coals and bad children were waking up to slingshots, pee shooters, water guns and spit bombs.

Meanwhile in Kurama's house, a certain demon fox was whining, "But I was a good boy this year. I didn't want a lump of coal! I wanted the special Christmas My Little Pony's."

THE END


End file.
